Hi... I'm a Doctor, Want To Go Out?

I swear to God... I really need a reality TV show because I seriously can't make up the dumb shit that happens to me in my daily life; stuff that you would have to stage for reality TV but that just happens to me naturally.

For instance... I make a pit stop at Safeway in between appointments one day to dart in and dash out for some household essentials. When I'm on a mission I tend to have a "don't fucking talk to me" face on so it always amazes me when randoms try to start conversations with me. Anyway, I'm picking up toilet paper of all things and I realize that there is man staring at me. I completely ignore him and start to walk past him. He then says, "Excuse me... do you have the time?"

I look up at him, pull my wrist out and read him the time. Then I continue to walk away. He then says, "I'm sorry... my name is ___________ and I'm a doctor at Hopkins and I think that you're really beautiful... I'd love to take you for a drink sometime." I completely forgot his name as soon as he said it.

At this point, the first thing that comes to my mind, "I don't give a FUCK that you're a doctor at Hopkins. I don't care if you were the GOD DAMNED PRESIDENT!!!!"

But I said, "I'm Liz and I don't date."

That was that. The first thing that's funny about this situation is that I could NEVER date a doctor because I'm a fucking hypochondriac first of all and second of all, I pass out when I step foot into a hospital or when someone talks about anything medical! So no... a doctor is the LAST person I'd want to date.

A week later I'm doing the same thing... rushing around Safeway on a mission. Then I see this fucking "doctor" out of the corner of my eye and I start praying that he doesn't see me or recognize me. No such luck.

"Liz...???" he starts.

Me thinking...  ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!!!!!

But I say, "Oh hi!"

"I'd still really love to take you for that drink."

I'm thinking... REALLY mother fucker??? I said NO once... so then I told him that I was dating someone and walked away. Of course he said, "wow, he's a really lucky guy."

But seriously... really??? I just so happen to run into the SAME "doctor." Only me... I'm convinced.

To top it off, I walk out to my car and a woman walks over to me and says, "Can I give you something to read today?"

WHY DO JEHOVAH WITNESSES LOVE TO STALK ME!!!????

"No... I really don't have time." I said.

She said, "Okay, but I really love your necklace!"

Yes, I know that I have impeccable style and fabulous accessories but I'm never going to read your pamphlets. Sorry.