The Joy of Birthday Cake with Your Photo on it
For my husband's 30th birthday, I decided to throw him a surprise party. I'm not yet 30 but I do I know that turning 30 is a "kind-of-a-big-deal event" so I thought this would be a nice gesture.
You might think that finding a location, haggling over price, deciding on a menu, finalizing a guest list, tracking down the guests who haven't RSVP'ed and coming up with a million excuses to throw off the hubby would be a big hassle and very stressful. Nope. Those things were easy compared to the bullshit I had to go through in order to get a fucking photo cake. Yeah, you heard right. The cake was the most stressful part.
It sounds silly right? You're probably thinking, "Idiot, you just walk into any bakery and tell them what you want!"
Well, since my husband is more about "less is more" I knew if I went into any bakery, it would be about $200 for a cake. Yes, the cake would be gourmet and I'm sure it would have been delicious but I just knew it would not be appreciated by the most important person there. So, I decided to make things really difficult for myself by opting for a photo cake.
Now, when I say photo cake, I mean a regular sheet cake with the persons photo on it. They are always advertised at every grocery store in the bakery section and what is so "special" about them is that the photo is edible. Yes, it's EDIBLE.
About a week before the party, I called my local grocery store fully expecting it to be no problem. To my surprise, they said, "Nope, our machine is broken." From the sounds of it, they did not anticipate having the machine fixed any time soon.
Okay, no problem... I'll just call the next closest place. "No, we don't do those anymore."
Fine. NEXT!?
You guessed it, their machine was down too. I did a Google search for grocery stores near my zip code. All the others were at least 20 minutes away and in the semi-ghetto. At this point, ghetto or not... I called. To my surprise they said, "Yup. We do'em." For whatever reason I just didn't get that warm and fuzzy feeling when the person was too eager to get me off the phone.
I finally found a place that was 30 minutes away that said. "YES. We do them!" So I said, "OKAY! I'm on my way!"
I printed out my husbands photo and eagerly drove (30 minutes) to the store. I placed my order, PAID for my cake and left, totally relieved that this was finally done. She told me to pick it up Friday. PERFECT!
Don't you know that the following morning I got a call from the bakery that said, "Hi this message is for _insert my name_. We are not able to make your photo cake because our machine is broke and the girl who took your order was new. Sorry!" Click.
WHAT THE FUCK??????????????? I thought this was cursed. Maybe he's not supposed to have a god-damned photo cake after all!??
I was fuming. I called the store very angry. Of course they were unable to give me a re-fund over the phone so I would have to go back into the store. I stormed in and stormed out. Luckily around the corner there was another grocery store and that was my final straw.
Side note: this next grocery store was in a very nice area.
I walked and made a bee-line for the bakery. Of course there was no one there to help me so I waited for a few minutes and then I saw a woman heading out of the back. She purposely did not make eye-contact with me but I stopped her and said, "Excuse me, can you help me please?"
She looked at me and mouthed (no words came out), "Yes, what do you need?"
Mute? No. She had a sinus infection and therefore she lost her voice.
Great, I thought. I looked around for someone else but there was no one so this lady would have to do. I explained to her what I wanted and she said they could do it. FINALLY! I gave her the photo and gave her instructions on when I wanted to pick it up, how many people, what kind of cake and what colors I wanted. Then I told her what I wanted it to say, "Happy Surprise 30th Birthday! We Love You Nick!"
When I looked down at her order sheet to see what she was writing, this is what I saw, "Happy Suprice 30 Bithady!"
I hesitated to give her a moment to check her words and fix her mistakes. She did not. I said as nicely as possible, "Does the person who actually writes on the cake know how to spell? I don't think "surprise" or "birthday" is spelled right."
She looked at me and said in a very soft voice, "Sorry, my sinuses are all crazy today and I can't think." That's fine, I understood so I said, "Ohhhhh... it's okay... here I can write it..."
Oh no, that would have been too easy. She made me stand there while she flipped through the sample cake book to find the words that she mis-spelled. When she finally corrected her work I was done. I repeatedly asked her if my cake would be ready by Friday and she said yes. I took my copy of the receipt and prayed.
Friday came and my heart raced as I drove to the store. I had a plan B... just buy a plain cake if they screw this one up. To my surprise, it looked great! Thank GOD!
But seriously... would I have done it all over again? I don't know. Did my husband love his cake? Yes, so I guess it was worth it. YEESH!!!!!!!
You might think that finding a location, haggling over price, deciding on a menu, finalizing a guest list, tracking down the guests who haven't RSVP'ed and coming up with a million excuses to throw off the hubby would be a big hassle and very stressful. Nope. Those things were easy compared to the bullshit I had to go through in order to get a fucking photo cake. Yeah, you heard right. The cake was the most stressful part.
It sounds silly right? You're probably thinking, "Idiot, you just walk into any bakery and tell them what you want!"
Well, since my husband is more about "less is more" I knew if I went into any bakery, it would be about $200 for a cake. Yes, the cake would be gourmet and I'm sure it would have been delicious but I just knew it would not be appreciated by the most important person there. So, I decided to make things really difficult for myself by opting for a photo cake.
Now, when I say photo cake, I mean a regular sheet cake with the persons photo on it. They are always advertised at every grocery store in the bakery section and what is so "special" about them is that the photo is edible. Yes, it's EDIBLE.
About a week before the party, I called my local grocery store fully expecting it to be no problem. To my surprise, they said, "Nope, our machine is broken." From the sounds of it, they did not anticipate having the machine fixed any time soon.
Okay, no problem... I'll just call the next closest place. "No, we don't do those anymore."
Fine. NEXT!?
You guessed it, their machine was down too. I did a Google search for grocery stores near my zip code. All the others were at least 20 minutes away and in the semi-ghetto. At this point, ghetto or not... I called. To my surprise they said, "Yup. We do'em." For whatever reason I just didn't get that warm and fuzzy feeling when the person was too eager to get me off the phone.
I finally found a place that was 30 minutes away that said. "YES. We do them!" So I said, "OKAY! I'm on my way!"
I printed out my husbands photo and eagerly drove (30 minutes) to the store. I placed my order, PAID for my cake and left, totally relieved that this was finally done. She told me to pick it up Friday. PERFECT!
Don't you know that the following morning I got a call from the bakery that said, "Hi this message is for _insert my name_. We are not able to make your photo cake because our machine is broke and the girl who took your order was new. Sorry!" Click.
WHAT THE FUCK??????????????? I thought this was cursed. Maybe he's not supposed to have a god-damned photo cake after all!??
I was fuming. I called the store very angry. Of course they were unable to give me a re-fund over the phone so I would have to go back into the store. I stormed in and stormed out. Luckily around the corner there was another grocery store and that was my final straw.
Side note: this next grocery store was in a very nice area.
I walked and made a bee-line for the bakery. Of course there was no one there to help me so I waited for a few minutes and then I saw a woman heading out of the back. She purposely did not make eye-contact with me but I stopped her and said, "Excuse me, can you help me please?"
She looked at me and mouthed (no words came out), "Yes, what do you need?"
Mute? No. She had a sinus infection and therefore she lost her voice.
Great, I thought. I looked around for someone else but there was no one so this lady would have to do. I explained to her what I wanted and she said they could do it. FINALLY! I gave her the photo and gave her instructions on when I wanted to pick it up, how many people, what kind of cake and what colors I wanted. Then I told her what I wanted it to say, "Happy Surprise 30th Birthday! We Love You Nick!"
When I looked down at her order sheet to see what she was writing, this is what I saw, "Happy Suprice 30 Bithady!"
I hesitated to give her a moment to check her words and fix her mistakes. She did not. I said as nicely as possible, "Does the person who actually writes on the cake know how to spell? I don't think "surprise" or "birthday" is spelled right."
She looked at me and said in a very soft voice, "Sorry, my sinuses are all crazy today and I can't think." That's fine, I understood so I said, "Ohhhhh... it's okay... here I can write it..."
Oh no, that would have been too easy. She made me stand there while she flipped through the sample cake book to find the words that she mis-spelled. When she finally corrected her work I was done. I repeatedly asked her if my cake would be ready by Friday and she said yes. I took my copy of the receipt and prayed.
Friday came and my heart raced as I drove to the store. I had a plan B... just buy a plain cake if they screw this one up. To my surprise, it looked great! Thank GOD!
But seriously... would I have done it all over again? I don't know. Did my husband love his cake? Yes, so I guess it was worth it. YEESH!!!!!!!
Labels: birthday cake, buying a birthday cake, photo cakes, surprise 30th birthday
posted by Liz at 3:42 PM
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