why I havent posted in a coon's age...

First of all, I'll have you all know that I lead a VERY busy life and I'm sorry that my postings haven't been as "on schedule" as some of you may like...(yeah, some of you as in all of those that actually READ this fucking blog...which is like me, myself and I...)In any case, I've created a top 10 list of why I haven't posted a blog in a coon's age...(coon's age as in...a month or so...)

10. I've been WAY too busy fighting off freaks from myspace...(since we all know that Myspace is my LIFE...NOT)

9. I've been attending church every other day and studying to become a priest...(a "likely" story...)

8. I've quit drinking so god damn much and realized there is more to life than Italy and sarcasm...(SIKE)

7. I took a job at Pizza Hut and I work UNGODLY hours....(that would NEVER happen)

6. I married an 80 year old millionaire who needs my CONSTANT attention...(actually this could happen, but I would then take the money, hire a nurse and get the fuck out of town)

5. I've become dependent on Heroin and I can no longer move my hands around the keyboard because they are so scarred from my needles...(wow...)

4. I've taken up knitting and therefore my hands have been...tied up...(lol)

3. I moved to a cave in the woods and my computer doesn't have a signal...(ha)

2. I got hit by a motor scotter and am in court...

AND now.... the NUMBER 1 reason why I haven't blogged in a COON'S age is: (drum roll please...)

I just gave birth to a rabbit...(enough said...)

I've blatenly just had nothing good to say...deal with it

CONFESSION....It was me..........

It’s finals week…and as usual, everyone is frantically working on last minute projects which require a functioning printer.

So there I was in the computer lab (typical), surrounded by other students, doing mindless thinks on the internet while waiting for my teacher. Then it happened, how, I’m not even sure. But this IS for sure… I accidentally printed out a 2,000 page document. Again mind you, this is FINALS week …

How the FUCK you ask, did I manage to “accidentally” printout a 2,000 page document? Well, it was quite innocent actually… I could only see the first five pages, therefore it was not until AFTER I hit “PRINT,” did I see the number of “pages being sent to printer,” RAPIDLY continue to increase to the point that it reached 700 by the time my finger could click on the mouse to CANCEL PRINT!

Please note that I felt a huge surge of heat flood my body as I scrambled to hit CANCEL PRINT…all while maintaining my usual composure in the computer lab…a blank stare.

I was SURE that once I hit cancel print, it was cancelled…yeah, I was wrong. I realized I was wrong just a few minutes after I thought I had the situation under control…when some of my fellow students began searching for their documents at the printer and began commenting on the random sheets of paper that were CONTIUALLY being emitted from the printer.

“Who the hell is printing this random stuff?”

“Who would print this?”

“WHAT is this…???”

Maintaining my blank stare, my mind was racing, (they’ll never know it was me…it was an ACCIDENT…shit, I need to leave).

So I left.

I’m sure there was some lab aid who became a hero that night and maybe this incident was meant to happen, for their sake.