The infamous "Philly Cheesesteak..."

The Philly Cheesesteak...a nationally recognized sandwich of excellence, created and perfected in non other than Philadelphia...(HENCE the name...)

A pet peeve that has perplexed me for some time now is the fact that no matter where I go, other than Philadelphia, it never ceases to amaze me that I see sub/pizza shops promoting signs which display the words, "Authentic, Genuine, REAL" or even..."ORIGINAL" Philly Cheesesteaks. (can I just ask...how the FUCK can you have an "original" PHILLY CHEESESTEAK when your NOT in Philly???)

FYI: Haphazardly slapping the word "Philly," in front of your inadequate Cheesesteak does NOT make it legitimate...and quite frankly, it doesn't make it RIGHT. Where are the morals?

Honestly, I just don't understand why these sub/pizza shops feel the need to advertise for something that they are COMPLETELY unable to produce! Why not just say "HOT Cheesesteaks, FRESH Cheesesteaks, CHEAP and DELICIOUS Cheesteaks?" Why is there than constant urge to throw the extra "Philly" in there? I'm sorry, but LYING is not a good marketing techique...fyi...(I'm "just sayin'")

Residing close enough to Philadelphia, I have previously indulged in these tasty Philly favorites. BUT PLEASE...
NOTE: If I KNOW that I am going to Philly for a cheesesteak, I will purposely not eat for an entire day (or week) so that I don't feel guilty... cause they're just THAT GOOD and I want to eat the WHOLE thing. NEVER would I EVER heave myself into starvation for one of these "OTHER" disgusting cheesesteaks that CLAIM to be "authentic." (I wouldn't waste the calories either...)

I can tell you that no where else in the world, despite their claimed, "genuinely, real, authenticity," to replicate the perfect Philly Cheesesteak, is complete and utter BULLSHIT! How can these people LEGITIMATELY claim to replicate a PHILLY cheesesteak when they're blatantly NOT IN PHILLY? How do these people sleep at night???

Don't these assholes realize that they are ruining the average persons perception of the AMAZINGLY delectable, REAL Philadelphia Cheesesteak??? Imagine those poor soles who have NEVER experienced a GENUINE Philly Cheesesteak...because they THINK they are getting the REAL THING.... once they consume these horrid replicas, they probably won't ever think TWICE about a Philly Cheesesteak because (bless their poor deprived stomachs,) they did not experience the "real deal."

It's a proven fact that the bread used in Philadelphia on a Philly Cheesesteak is completely different than the bread that other city's try to pawn off as authentic Philadelphia bread.

NOTE: Honestly, there has been a slew of research done on the topic and it's scientifically IMPOSSIBLE for other states to replicate the exact bread that Philadelphia was blessed with the ability to produce, frankly because of where their altitude is on the map, which causes the bread in Philly to rise and take shape differently than the other states.

This blasphemous LIE has got Philadelphians UP IN ARMS and we are prepared to fight back. WE'RE TAKIN' BACK PHILLY! GIVE US BACK OUR RIGHTFULLY OWNED PHILLY CHEESESTEAK! STOP THE LIES!