My Amazing Hayride

I must say that the month of October thoroughly excites me. Maybe it's the colorful leaves, the carving of pumpkins, having a legitimate reason for going out "scantily clad" or maybe it's just the hayrides.

Honestly, many people would probably admit that hayrides are somewhat lame nowadays, generally due to the fact that they have been geared more towards a younger crowd and therefore they are really not what you would call "exciting."

I plan to change all that because I officially decided today that I am creating my own hayride. I've pondered the possibilities of my hayride a lot over the past three hours since I first got my amazing hayride idea and it's been brewing in my mind-(don't mind the corny "wordige") I've come up with what my super fun, super exciting hayride should consist of.

First, you have to be funny. I'm requiring the ability to be funny frankly because sitting around on a hayride with non humorous people is just not fun. Therefore, in order to be to participate in my hayride festivities, you have to be funny. Case closed.

Next, you have to be at least 21 years of age and equipped with a filled flask. Because I'm cheap, I will not be providing alcohol but I am cool, so I am allowing you to bring your own, (provided it's in a neat flask...Your probably not getting in if you don't you have cool "flaskage")

Another major reason hayrides are considered "lame" is because kids don't generally carry flasks and drink, (thank God). However, adults DO and therefore, what better place to kick back with some funny strangers with a flask than on a hayride? (stumped? Yeah I don't know either...)

Another aspect of producing a "good" hayride is picking out a proper trail. Trust me people, I vow to pick the most bangin' ass trail EVER...Get me a bible...

Lastly, I will vow to make sure that the seating arrangements for my hayride are comfortable and CLEAN. There is nothing WORSE than being skeeved out the entire time because your not sure where this hay has been, then getting pissed that your jeans are dirty. Only clean hay will be permitted and it will be thoroughly inspected before each ride by yours truly...(unless of course this hayride business makes me ridiculously rich which then I would hire someone else to be my "hay inspector.")

So there you have it. It doesn't take much to pull off a fucking amazing hayride...I know I'm a genius.

Liz's Fucking Amazing Hayride
tickets - $10 (cash and credit cards are accepted, SORRY no Diners cards or American Express.)
Hayride starts PROMPTLY at 10:30 and lasts roughly an hour and a half, so bring enough alcohol to sustain yourself.