Vending Machines
Working in a gym...I get to watch people constantly wrestling with the vending machines, then when the machine eats their money, (which happens a lot) they look to me for help. (Honestly what the fuck am I supposed to do?)
"Maybe bring your own water and snacks next time...?" I polietly suggest. I did however take the innitiative (out of the kindness of my heart) to post a sign on the vending machine which read, "USE AT YOUR OWN RISK....Seriously!"
I never could quite understand it though, even with the sign people continued to struggle with the damn machine! Besides eating money, sometimes their selection would get stuck halfway out of the machine, which would then require someone to shake the shit out of it. Honestly, if it were me, I would prolly just bring my own water and snacks and save myself the money and stress of having that possibility of being out of money AND a refreshment.
However, I do recall a time in my younger days when I was addicted to Reeses Peanut Butter cups...and there was a vending machine that contained them, which I saw basically every day for a whole summer. I decided one day that I would indulge in a Reeses. My mouth started to water as I approached the (old) vending machine. After hearing my .75 cents clunk I grew ecstatic at the thought of that delicious chocolate and peanut butter goodness. HOWEVER..............as I pressed into the key pad the selection for Reeses...I was completely HORRIFIED when I saw NOT the Reeses but the HOTFRIES...(fucking HOTFRIES) fall from the shelf. The sad fact was that I had only .75 which was now gone, replaced by fucking hotfries. Who the fuck likes hotfries? Seriously? I think the vending machine maitenence man realized that since NO ONE was actually purchasing the hotfries... he he would take it upon himself to switch up the keypad and fuck everything up so that unsuspecting people like me, who just wanted that peanut butter-chocolatly goodness that every Reeses peanut butter cup delivers....was FUCKED over by some FUCKING HOTFRIES!
For those of you who are unfamilar with these illusive "hotfries" let me explain... Imagine the crunchy little potato pieces you'd find in a green bean casserole at Thanksgiving...slapped together with some extra pepper and fucking hot sauce. Yeh, that’s pretty much "hot fries" and they suck. OH and try SELLING these hot fries to another kid in the vending line...yeah, not happening. I couldn't even GIVE them away.
Back then, I guess I played into the same category as these crazy gym goers that I was referring to earlier because I brought more money the next day, ready to try my luck yet again...(since I hadn't actually gotten the satisfaction of a Reese’s). I approached the machine again...this time tense...never really expecting the same thing would happen AGAIN.....well, needless to say...I FLIPPED out when it did!
Now I was out $1.50 and STILL with no fucking Reese’s. I could have bought a whole fucking bag for that kinda money! (I think that’s exactly what I did).
From then on I have said, "Fuck vending machines and DOUBLE fuck hot fries." Now that I am older and wiser…I just save my money and bring my own shit. I can't deal with the added stress of wondering whether or not the vending machine is going to give me what I want, or steal my money and give me fucking hot fries. I highly recommend anyone else to do the same.
"Maybe bring your own water and snacks next time...?" I polietly suggest. I did however take the innitiative (out of the kindness of my heart) to post a sign on the vending machine which read, "USE AT YOUR OWN RISK....Seriously!"
I never could quite understand it though, even with the sign people continued to struggle with the damn machine! Besides eating money, sometimes their selection would get stuck halfway out of the machine, which would then require someone to shake the shit out of it. Honestly, if it were me, I would prolly just bring my own water and snacks and save myself the money and stress of having that possibility of being out of money AND a refreshment.
However, I do recall a time in my younger days when I was addicted to Reeses Peanut Butter cups...and there was a vending machine that contained them, which I saw basically every day for a whole summer. I decided one day that I would indulge in a Reeses. My mouth started to water as I approached the (old) vending machine. After hearing my .75 cents clunk I grew ecstatic at the thought of that delicious chocolate and peanut butter goodness. HOWEVER..............as I pressed into the key pad the selection for Reeses...I was completely HORRIFIED when I saw NOT the Reeses but the HOTFRIES...(fucking HOTFRIES) fall from the shelf. The sad fact was that I had only .75 which was now gone, replaced by fucking hotfries. Who the fuck likes hotfries? Seriously? I think the vending machine maitenence man realized that since NO ONE was actually purchasing the hotfries... he he would take it upon himself to switch up the keypad and fuck everything up so that unsuspecting people like me, who just wanted that peanut butter-chocolatly goodness that every Reeses peanut butter cup delivers....was FUCKED over by some FUCKING HOTFRIES!
For those of you who are unfamilar with these illusive "hotfries" let me explain... Imagine the crunchy little potato pieces you'd find in a green bean casserole at Thanksgiving...slapped together with some extra pepper and fucking hot sauce. Yeh, that’s pretty much "hot fries" and they suck. OH and try SELLING these hot fries to another kid in the vending line...yeah, not happening. I couldn't even GIVE them away.
Back then, I guess I played into the same category as these crazy gym goers that I was referring to earlier because I brought more money the next day, ready to try my luck yet again...(since I hadn't actually gotten the satisfaction of a Reese’s). I approached the machine again...this time tense...never really expecting the same thing would happen AGAIN.....well, needless to say...I FLIPPED out when it did!
Now I was out $1.50 and STILL with no fucking Reese’s. I could have bought a whole fucking bag for that kinda money! (I think that’s exactly what I did).
From then on I have said, "Fuck vending machines and DOUBLE fuck hot fries." Now that I am older and wiser…I just save my money and bring my own shit. I can't deal with the added stress of wondering whether or not the vending machine is going to give me what I want, or steal my money and give me fucking hot fries. I highly recommend anyone else to do the same.
Labels: hot fries, reeses pieces, using vending machines, vending machines, vending machines gone wrong
posted by Liz at 6:52 AM
2 Comments:
Wow....good thing i was there for the fuckin hot fries...and yea they DO suck!! Who likes them anyways? UGH! They needed to have your sign "Use at ur own risk...SERIOUSLY" (which when i saw, was in hysterics, was great btw)so that u didnt have that happen with the beloved resses. And EVERYONE loves resses, i mean come on! So yea, Fuck vending machines and DEF double Fuck the Fuckin hated hot fries!!! ~ Beck
wow i am soooo sorry i was not there for the hot fries incident.because boy would i have been knee slapping it i mean i probably would have slapped my knee so hard it would have been stuck in the ground and then for it to happen a second time ... omg its perfect...
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