At The Restaurant

It's happened one to many times "at the restaurant" when your sitting there, OBVIOUSLY very engrossed in what your (friend, husband, wife, significant other)is saying when your EXTREMELY "attentive" (if that's what you want to call their stupidity) waiter comes over and blatantly interrupts an intricate moment where a huge detail of the story is revealed and says, "Can I take this?"

FIRST:

- if the plate or drink is empty, TAKE IT
- if it's not THEN DON'T

Then later, once everyone regains their composure and gets back into the story, now that it's somewhat awkward, the waiter comes over YET AGAIN and of course, ONLY when your engrossed in another great tale and asks "Do you guys mind if I put this here... not to rush you or anything..." (He sits down the bill)

- NO NO NO. You are not getting a good tip. Guess what, your not leaving until we do and now your not even going to get a decent percentage. For all you know Mr. "Waiter", we could have ordered more beverages and start getting silly... which would probably result in YOU the "WAITER" getting a HUGE tip because we all know that alcohol and math DON'T MIX.

In short, to all you waiters who are guilty of these mindless acts... learn from your mistakes and FYI... you can always be forgiven by comping a hefty beverage. :-)